On love and marriage 8/12/2002
Shortly after meeting the woman who is now my wife, I talked with the man who ended up the best man and a priest to get advice. As the advice was good and my wife and I are now married, here is a write-up of my notes from that meeting.
-the purpose of dating is to find a life-time companion
-Can’t rely on senses; should rely on soul
-All human longing is longing for God
- Simply resist sensation and senses to reach the other person. Beauty accessable to the senses is dangerious.
[Drawing was then made of a man, with three parts. The head, called Logei; the heart, called Love; and the mid-section, called Passion.]
We must love from the heart; not just think someone is a good match from the mind; and not just feel a physical desire for the person.
-A person consumed by passion is not capable of love
-What does she think of life, culture, and love?
-Christian affection: you won’t don’t fall into passion, when you know her on the level of the heart.
[Drawing of a girl's mind and a guy's mind. The guy's mind is clear, organized, ordered; the girl's is a mess]
Three things for marriage: Financial stability, psycological maturity, and spiritual
-Safe S– is neither safte nor is it s–; it is really mutual ma———-
-He who loves, wants to know. Loning in the heart is for a person. Theology, culture, music, and art are expressions of loving for God.
- Every object in nature is a personal gift from God. God made nature personally for me. Creation isn’t an object, but a gift. The beauty of what God has given wants to come to God — just as man suffers wanting to know woman.
Woman is a gift from God to man.
-God is present in woman and woman is a reflection of self and a revelation of self. In seeing woman, man sees himself.
Celibacy is the key to keeping a marriage. There are 3 vocations: Layiety, Consecrated life, clergy.
-Secual aspect of a person involves the whole person.
-It may appear that good is losing, but the truth is that good is winning.